WASHINGTON D.C. – Facing the lowest popularity ratings of his presidency, President Barack Obama gave a boost to his legacy by claiming a victory in the war against terror by declaring Osama bin-Laden dead in absentia.
“It has been over seven years since a verifiable sighting of Osama bin-Laden and so I declare him dead. The Surgeon General will issue a death certificate later today. I admit, this is a legal manoeuvre usually employed by the families of missing persons to help settle estates and inheritances, but it’s equally applicable in the war against terror. This war needs to end, now. C’mon Rahm, open that bottle of champagne.”
This move is likely to meet fierce opposition from Republican, something Obama is fully prepared for.
“Sure, they might cry ‘foul’ because of the expected loss of kickbacks from contractors, but we will soon have a death certificate showing that he has definitely and properly died a death according to the legal laws of the land. Then the media will stop talking about him and start talking about me in good light.”
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I feel the expectations from Obama were too unrealistic…
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